New size, new feeling

I am so happy that when I went shopping the other day I bought 2 tops size 20 and a pair of trackies in size 18!!! This is down from a 26 only 4 months ago!!! It's incredible. Hard to believe some days.

The other thing that happened to me is actually FAR more significant.

I was looking through some photo's the other day and found one of myself probably 1.5-2 years ago, when I was weighing the most I ever had.

Here it is, so you can see.

That's me, unfortunately NOT larger than life, that was life. Complete with half eaten lollipop. Size 26 (Australian), pretty much at the top of the range of clothes you can get without getting specially made or speciality shops (I'm not just talking the "fat" section in a shop, but EXTRA special shops). The size that made me decide I HAD to do something.

Well I've lost 25kg since then. I've KNOWN I've lost weight, I've been able to SEE in the mirror that I've lost weight, I've known it through my fitness, through the way that clothes fit, and in what other say. I've known it, and seen it.

BUT... until just the other day, when I saw that photo above, I had not been able to FEEL it.

FINALLY, 25kg later, I don't FEEL like that woman. I don't feel like that huge fat unattractive disgusting woman. I feel like a much smaller (25kg to be exact) woman who has a  much better level of fitness and is DAMN PROUD of the work she's put into this. Work? YES. Lap banding is NOT the easy road, it does not do it for you. I've worked for this, I've paid for this. I HAVE DONE THIS.

THIS......... is the new me, in my new sized clothes (excuse the phone pic taken by self).

That top photo? Someone else. That's not me. I don't feel like that any more. I feel empowered, I feel strong, and I feel SUCCESSFUL. I have a long way to go but my eyes are on the prize, and finally, the prize actually feels REAL.

Best NSV so far. :)

*gasp*

or

That's right...

HOLY COW!!

I just weighed myself and the scales said.................................

102.4kg!!!! That is so close to 100, so close to UNDER 100!! Man!! That's made my day!

That means I've lost 25kg, or 55lb, in 4 months!! Yep, here comes another fish picture!!

That's a 25kg fish. He can have it, I don't need that much weight anymore!

I was thinking that this latest fill has been "the one", and yep, I think so. I think it's SWEET readers, I think it is...

w00t!!!

An interruption for a giggle

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program..


The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.


She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me. Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up..


The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.


The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me you can have me'.


Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost 20 pounds.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone... 'This is our most rigorous program.

'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.'


The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.'


He lost 63 pounds that week.

I love Bob. And a fill.

Bob. What a lovely man. He's my parcel man. He saw me today and asked if I was "in training". I giggled and said no, but I was trying to lose lots of weight, and had been banded. He said "I noticed you had lost weight, you're half the woman you were!" Not quite half Bob, more like a quarter, but wow, I felt good. It always feels good when someone who doesn't know about the band makes a comment.

It felt good for ages until one of my daughter's classmates asked if I was pregnant. LOL! Luckily he's only 5 so it didn't hurt my feelings. ;)

Anyway I went to the surgeon today. I got weighed in and annoyingly weighed about 1.7kg more than this morning at home. Hurrumph. Oh well. They did say they're less concerned about the fluctuations on the scale and more about eating small portions and clothes changing in the way they fit. Which is good, coz that's all happening They were still happy with the 2.5kg in the 6 weeks I'd lost according to their scales (it's more like 4kg according to mine, as I was 103.4kg this morning on mine but 105.1kg this afternoon on theirs - I need a morning appointment LOL!).

I told them (when asked) that I wasn't at my sweet spot, and I got 0.25ml in, which takes me up to a total of 6ml in a 10ml band. Hopefully that makes it sweet!

We did discuss being "full". They (being the surgeon and his wife, his assistant) said I wouldn't ever feel "full" unless I'd eaten way too much. I must just look to feel "satisfied". Hmm, I don't think I've been doing that very well. I must retrain the brain (yet again).

Weigh in finally

I haven't been posting my weights lately because to be honest, I haven't liked them. It seems that TOM makes a HUGE difference to my weight, even 1.5-2kg difference! I've been fluctuating between 105.5kg and 106kg (ish) for the last couple of weeks, when my lowest weigh in before that was 104.4kg. I was so frustrated, I didn't know why!! But it seems that now that it's not TOM anymore, I'm down to 103.6kg which is MUCH nicer!

It certainly proves that the more you weigh yourself the more frustrating it becomes. We need to stop focusing on those numbers and just do our best, watch the way our clothes fit and see our new physical abilities. THAT's what's most important, as the weight is certainly not a consistently reliable factor.

Goal ACHIEVED!

The kids were a *little* (LOL) cranky we were waiting in the rain a while for it to start.

I did it, I made the 5km in the MS Society Walk & Fun Run!

I did it at 3 & 5 year old pace most of the time, as the whole family came along. And I even did half of it with one or other of the kids on my shoulders (my neck is quite sore from that though).

AND it was cold and a bit wet here and there.

AND TOM arrived! First day! Worst day!

But even with all that against me I did it.

I'm having to convince myself it was a good effort. I really didn't get the euphoria I expected when I finished. It was a bit of a let down actually. It was more like "oh well, I did it. Boring". Why? I don't know. Maybe because it was more of a stroll? I know I didn't push as fast as I could because we did it as a family. Maybe that's it.

I'm a bit sore now (my hips were quite sore yesterday, but my muscles were ok) but not too bad at all really. Tired though.

Next year I'm doing the 5km RUN!

Trying on clothes

Trying on clothes used to be a nightmare. At an AUS size 26 you basically bought whatever fit, whether it was really what you wanted or not. I've actually had to stop myself thinking that these days - I must ONLY buy what I really love, not buy something just because if fits.

Anyway, I just met the sister of a friend who was banded back in August 2009. She's down from a 26 to a 16 now, and looking great! She's getting rid of a heap of her clothes and brought the bags to me to see if I want them before Ebay got them.

It was mostly 20-26 with some 18's thrown in.

Well....

I rummaged through the bags, mainly picking out pants or jeans as that's what my wardrobe is missing. I picked out the 20's thinking they'll be good.

PROBLEM!!!

What is the problem you say??

THEY WERE TOO BIG!!!!!!

I'm currently wearing a pair of size 20 jeans that I thought were just a little big coz of their sizing. But NO, it appear that I'm a little less than a 20 now! The 20's still actually fit but really were that little bit too big, not fitting properly. I'm still a bit bigger on the top, but my "ladies" are of "generous proportion" LOL so that effects the size of tops.

The even better thing is that in the garage I have a huge bag of size 18's (given to me) that I might be able to fit into sooner than I thought!

ALL IN 5 MONTHS!!!

Remind me of this next time I whinge about the scales not moving much? ;)